Jackson Says "What Up!"

Jackson loves his mommy - but he loves his MIMI too! My mom, aunt and grandma came up to Little Rock for my grandma to go to a doctor appointment and for my aunt to help me decorate the house while my mom keeps Jackson.... She's had her work cut out for her since Jackson has begun his "could it be colic? stage..." where he cries for absolutely ZERO reason for about 30 minutes, stops for a few and starts again until he falls asleep. My aunt has reinvented my house w/ her amazing decorating - and we're under budget! WOOHOO! :) I'm headed back to Fayetteville w/ my family tomorrow and Ryan will come on Thursday night. It will be nice to be in Fayetteville for the week! I have a lot of catching up to do there and Jackson still hasn't gotten to see everyone yet! More to come later!
Oh yeah: Jackson is on YOU TUBE: http://www.youtube.com/v/MdOCO2BVwM8&hl=en. It's SOOOO funny!

We Made It Back!

Last night, Ryan, me, Jackson and Carol got back from our long road trip to Milwaukee for Ryan's cousin Jason and his new bride Danielle's wedding. We had such a great time, and it was so wonderful to spend time w/ Ryan's family. We do not get to see them often enough, so we took advantage of this opportunity - even w/ a 1 month old! Jackson did very well on the road - it turned out to be a 13 hour drive, and he slept most of the way. On the night of the wedding, his grandma so very generously took him overnight! My first overnight w/o Jackson! Ryan and I stayed at the hotel so we could hang out at the reception longer. It was a LOT of fun!

Sunday - we were about to leave for an overnight in Chicago on our way back when Jackson threw up all of his bottle. I assumed it was because he didn't burp, but then after giving him a bottle again about an hour/half later, he threw up that bottle too! That was a bit scary! Ryan called the pediatrician, and we started him on pedialyte to avoid dehydration. He was able to keep the pedialyte down and so we very very slowly have started him back on formula. He's been on soy formula since last Tuesday and he has been having very bad gas ever since. Well, this morning was the end of that - Ryan had had enough! He was screaming each time the gas pain would hit and then he would calm when it passed - we did this all night! Poor baby! So, Ryan was DONE w/ the soy - he went out and bought the Similac Sensitive and we started him on that this morning. Today, he had to be held all day - he cried every time he wasn't in my arms. He definitely has an upset tummy! I'm hoping that we can filter out all of this old soy formula from his system and we can have our happy baby back. Hopefully sooner than later!

Pictures: Jackson and me! :) Jackson and Aunt Carla, Happy Couple- Jason and Danielle, Stearle Family Cousins, Malmarowski Gang!

Headed back to Fayetteville...

Ray is taking Courtney home today.... :( I guess I'll have to learn to survive w/o her! It will be hard though! I also took this picture a few minutes ago of Ray and Jackson.... I definitely do see the similarities!

Ryan and I are headed to Fayetteville today too - we're going to spend the night and leave for our long drive to Milwaukee tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about how Jackson will do on a 14 hour drive but we'll figure it out! I wish I had a cute outfit to put Jackson in for the wedding on Saturday, but he doesn't fit in any of his 0-3 months clothes yet - so a onesie will have to do! :)

Jackson Meets Uncle Ray!

Unfortunately, Uncle Ray had never held a baby before - let alone an infant... so it was quite funny! It happened to be that Jackson needed to eat so I promptly plopped Jackson down in Ray's arms and handed him the bottle. Ray couldn't have been more nervous! He was nervous about the grunting sounds Jackson made when eating, and if he was eating fast enough and if he was going to throw up on him or pee on him... it was hilarious!! :) Ray brought his guitar to LR and has been playing - Jackson LOVES it! I guess he is like his Uncle Ray!

Thank God for Aunt Courtney

Ok... So she's really COUSIN Courtney - but either way, we're glad to have her here. She's been w/ us since Tuesday, June 3rd and she's been such a great helper! Jackson falls asleep as soon as she holds him, so I definitely use that to my advantage a LOT! :) My brother is coming up to visit tomorrow and staying for a few days and then Aunt Courtney will be leaving w/ him... Jackson will be very sad...and mommy too!

The CUTEST baby boy in the WORLD! :)

Happy Father's Day!

Ryan is having his first father's day today! Unfortunately, I am so caught up in my "Jackson" world that I didn't even realize it was Father's Day! Courtney and I went to the store today and bought a great picture frame and put a great picture of Jackson in it for Ryan's desk at work... He mentioned wanting one so I wanted to get it today, since it's Father's Day.
Our friends Eugene and Darcy came over last night to meet Jackson and cook some dinner. We grilled out and visited until about 1130p - it was really nice to have some company! Ryan and I cleaned up the house (downstairs) for most of the day and I have to admit, it feels a little more like "home" now that we have it cleaned up a bit. I'm starting to get into a bit of a routine now and that really helps! Because we started hard core cleaning yesterday for the whole day - Ryan didn't get any rest after his all nighter w/ Jackson... So I sent him to bed as soon as Eugene and Darcy left and I took over baby duty until 430am... Then, Ryan was back on! Fortunately, Jackson slept most of the morning, so Ryan got some quality sleep. Jackson is doing SOOOO great sleeping the last several nights - so we're getting 3 hours at a time of sleep most of the time now - sometimes more! :)

Ryan Survived!

Last night, I fell asleep around 11pm and Ryan was on baby duty! He said it went well - He said that Jackson slept ok and he tried to sleep while Jackson was sleeping. He seems to be doing ok this morning. I woke up at 700am and Ryan was asleep on the couch and Jackson was asleep on the bouncy seat next to him. I had a momentary panic because Ryan is a very heavy sleeper and we have very snuggly cats that like to curl up with you and sleep.... So let's just say, Ryan will have to move Jackson into the Pack N' Play when Jackson falls asleep tonight (not the bouncy seat). We can't take that chance.... But other than that, Ryan did an exceptional job and I feel very rested! :)

Today, our friends Eugene and Darcy are coming over to grill out and see Jackson. Ryan and I are cleaning up the house and sweeping the downstairs completely since Eugene is allergic to cats! It's nice to start feeling like a normal family again!

Growing Boy!

We had our visit to the pediatrician today. Our appointment was at 300p, but we didn't get into the room until 430p. The doctor said that Jackson's umbilical cord is not infected and he loosed it and put some stuff on it and said it should come off in the next day or so. He said Jackson has a very deep belly button! :) He answered my LONG list of questions and basically told me that Jackson is a very healthy little boy. He weighed in at 7lbs, 5oz! WOOHOO! My little baby is growing!

TONIGHT: Daddy is on baby duty for the first time since he's been born. I'm sure I'll have to "check" on things, but overall it will be really nice to have a full night's sleep!

ps: If anyone is interested in a VERY barely used Medela Advanced Breast Pump w/ Shoulder Bag - it's $280 in the store but I got it for $250 and would sell it for $225... Let me know. :)

Another visit to the pediatrician...

Well, I called the doctor today because Jackson's umbilical cord stump started putting off a strange strong smell a couple days ago, and it's getting worse by the day. It's very loose so it will probably fall off soon but the nurse says it may be getting an infection and he'll need to be seen asap. So we have an appointment tomorrow at 300p. I have a whole handful of questions for the doctor so I'm glad we're seeing him.

Ryan is on night time baby duty tomorrow and Saturday nights. I'm SOOOOOO excited about that! I have ear plugs and my eye mask and I'm going to get a full night sleep! WOOHOO!

**This picture shows a rare moment... Jackson sleeping! How sweet!**

Jackson's Girlfriend...

Jackson officially had his first birthday party to attend on Sunday. My best buddy Connie's little angel, Lauren, turned 1 year old on June 3rd. It was quite the party - I don't think I've ever seen so many people at a 1 year old's birthday party before! It was a lot of fun, and we got to see many people that I haven't seen in a long time. It will be nice that we are only be 2.5 hours away and will get to continue to do fun stuff like this in Fayetteville! Here is a picture of Jackson and Lauren from the hospital, and another new picture of Jackson. :)

Home Sweet Home...

We got back to Little Rock yesterday... I was sad to leave my mom and dad's house, but I know that this is home now. Hopefully with Courtney here w/ me, I can do some things around here to make it feel more like home. There is a lot to be done! Jackson is doing so much better - he is sleeping good and barely cries. He started giggling a little when he's sleeping - which is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. I could just stare at him for hours and hours! He is the cutest, sweetest thing I've ever seen! It's safe to say that I've fallen in love, again! :) We've decided that although we can't tell 100% yet, Jackson really favors me and my brother when he has his eyes open and he favors Ryan w/ his eyes closed. It's strange to think of it that way, but that's the truth. He is just absolutely precious! Here is a picture that I took of him yesterday - It may be my new favorite! He makes this face all of the time now! It just doesn't get better than this! :)

Packing on the Pounds!

WOOHOOO!! Jackson had his 2 week check up and "weigh in" today and since we were in Fayetteville, I made the appointment w/ a pediatrician here. I'm so SO SOOO proud to say that my little one now weighs 6lbs, 8oz! He's 1oz more than his birth weight! Ever since I started supplementing, he has been so much happier and peaceful and seems so satisfied. He's sleeping better and even smiling! I am so thankful! I, in turn, feel like a new person. My cousin is going to come back to Little Rock w/ Ryan and I on Sunday and spend at least the week w/ me. She is so excited about internet service that she doesn't even mind helping me out! It will be really nice to have some company (and since she stays up until 3 or 4 am every morning, she really is a lot of company for me!). Ryan just got to my mom's about an hour ago and finally got to see his boy! 5 days is a long time to go w/o seeing your newborn, but I'm thankful that I've been here at my mom's and I know she loves having Jackson and I here. I think I'm finally over this post partum stuff and have a clear head... even w/o sleep! :)

Back in Fayetteville....

Well, I'm back in Fayetteville. My mom and dad came to pick me and Jackson up on Monday night and bring us back to Fayetteville. I think that maybe it was just too much all at once or something, but post partum is NO JOKE! I cried almost all day and night on Sunday and I guess Ryan and my mom decided for me that I needed to be in Fayetteville close to my mom for another week. I had to put my pride on hold for a little while and accept that some things aren't in your control and you just have to accept that. Jackson had a "weigh in" on Monday and was supposed to be at least 6 pounds but he didn't... He only weighed 5lbs,14oz - so he's still 2 oz short. His birth weight was 6lbs, 7oz so he has a while to go. The doctor told me that breast feeding may not be sufficient for him and I need to supplement. I didn't want to hear that, of course, but the most important thing is that Jackson is getting exactly what he needs. If his crying and screaming nonstop is a result of starving - well then, what kind of mom am I to deny him more food? I was breast feeding every 2 hours and sometimes more but he would feed for 45 minutes and fall asleep, but as soon as I would lay him down, he would wake up screaming! I just can only deal w/ so much - I was going insane! On Sunday night, he didn't sleep. I fed him for almost 4 hours straight! He just wouldn't stop crying and would NOT sleep unless it was when he was attached to my breast! I went 39 hours on 2 hours of sleep... anyone that knows me, knows I'm a person who NEEDS her sleep, but boy, that has gone out the door!
When we got to Fayetteville, we gave him some formula and I pumped some breast milk. He gulped it down and hasn't stopped since! My mom took off work on Tuesday and allowed me to sleep on Monday night- which was wonderful. We're going to keep him on both(breast milk and formula) and help him gain some weight. I don't know what it is about breast feeding, but I guess it's just not working for me. It's a major disappointment but I'm not going to allow myself to get depressed about it. The most important thing is that he is getting what he needs and w/ me pumping, he can still get breast milk.
Ryan started getting sick on Saturday with some "flu-like" symptoms, so maybe it was good that we left.. Jackson can't get sick! He's too little! Ryan seems to be doing better today, but I think he needed some sleep too! He seems to be LOVING his job so that's a real positive thing!
On Friday, Jackson has another "weigh in" here in Fayetteville, so hopefully he can be at least 6 pounds by then. They want him to be back to his original birth weight by then, but any gain will be a great sign. My cousin Courtney, who is 14, is staying w/ me this week since she's out of school and bored. She'll be a big helping hand for me - I may even bring her back to Little Rock w/ me next week (If she'll go!).
Anyway - I put more pics of Jackson in the slideshow since I haven't put that many out there yet. I'll try to get better! Time is such a precious thing these days! Thanks for all of your love, support and prayers! Love you guys!

I miss Mimi!

Well, my mom is officially gone back to Fayetteville.... I am adjusting.... Wow - it's amazing how much easier things were when she was here! She worked her butt off and I'm sure that's not how most people would want to spend a week of their vacation, but my mom is the exception - she never complained once. She completely got Ryan and I out of boxes. She worked from early AM to late PM and then stayed up w/ me and Jackson each night. I have no idea where she had her energy to do any of that! I'm so unbelievably thankful. If anyone knows any ideas on how I can repay her, please let me know! I pretty much cried all day yesterday and most of today - Baby Blues are no joke! I know I'll get thru all of this but boy, it sure was easier when I had her here. Ryan worked on getting our office together for most of today and Jackson allowed Ryan and I to sleep last night very well. He only got up a couple of times to eat and then fell back to sleep - trick is, he HAS to be in the bed w/ us. He just won't sleep otherwise. Hopefully, that won't last long cuz I don't want to get into that bad habit!

Last Thursday, Jackson had his first visit w/ the pediatrician and everything went well except that Jackson's weight has dropped from 6lbs, 7 oz at birth to 5lbs, 12oz. So the doc wasn't too concerned but doesn't want him to lose anymore. Jackson seems to be feeling better overall since then and his crying is getting better and better.... He's sleeping more and that really helps. Tomorrow, I have to take him back to the doctor -by myself :( and if he doesn't weigh at least 6 lbs, we have to ask to talk to the doctor to see what's going on. I'm hoping and praying he's putting on weight now.

I think Ryan and I are going to come up to Fayetteville this weekend to help me "adjust." I really need to have regular visits at home for awhile until I can get used to being in this city all by myself all day.... I'll cope but I just need to have some down time too. My mom is happy cuz she'll get to see Jackson again soon and I'm sure Jackson's other grandma will be happy to see him too! My little brother - Ray - will finally be officially discharged from the Marine Corps and gets to come home on June 7th so I'm really excited to get to see him too - and he's happy to meet his look-alike nephew! :)

More later!

Love Always!