This morning hasn't been good. At all.
I thought that we were just going in for Ethan's 18 mo appt. Doc checked him out. Overall, he's doing great. He weighs 25.2 pounds (40.03 percentile) and his length is 33 inches (71.42 percentile).
Here lies the problem: Ethan has had eczema pretty much since he was about 6 wks old. It's gotten better, then worse, then better, then worse... Well, the last few weeks, it's gotten worse than I've ever seen. Jackson has it too and it changes too - so I wasn't alarmed about it but I did take pictures of it last week and decided to make an appointment w/ my dermatologist (for this coming up Monday) just because I was tired of the doctors saying it's eczema and suggesting all the things I'm already doing (aquafore, don't bathe everyday, no perfumed cleaners, etc etc). Eczema is not new to me - like I said, Jackson has had it on his legs since he was a baby too and I've never found anything to make it better so I made the dermatologist appt hoping for some answers. Well this morning, the pediatrician noted that Ethan's eczema was pretty bad. Um, yes! It is officially covering his whole body - his neck, belly, both legs and back - even some on his cheeks. He asked me all the same questions he always does and then suggested that maybe Ethan has a milk allergy or may be iron deficient. Never heard that one before.. so I inquired.... He suggested we do a blood test to find out. I was relieved to hear that maybe I could finally get some answers.
So we walked over to the lab. By this point, it had been a little over an hour at the doc - boys were getting ancy and Ethan had already drank an entire cup of milk, and then finished Jackson's and he was angry that there was no more. If you don't know Ethan, you don't know Ethan's temperament. It's a little extreme. I know every mom probably thinks her kid's temper is bad but again, you must not know Ethan. (I might add that he is equally lovable and laid back). So he had already been a little fussy but now, he is starting to get mad. He starts to scream... He wants to run all over the hospital and doesn't like that I'm not going to let him. Jackson thinks this is funny so he is encouraging Ethan to scream... ugh. We finally get our number called and I finally just give Jackson my iPhone to sit quietly and play a game while I try to deal w/ Ethan. Nurse says "oh, the doc put these orders in wrong so let me fix them really quick and then we'll come draw his blood." She says this as Ethan is still screaming and squirming and just mad. I am trying to stay calm and show Ethan things in the room to distract his fussiness (a little embarrassing how loud he's being) - and I'm just mad at myself for forgetting his paci at home. Finally, she and another (larger) nurse come over and say the doc ordered 3 tests and so they would need to get his blood from his arm. So the one nurse comes over and holds Ethan (very tightly) while he's SCREAMING now and I hold his other arm and try to comfort him. Ethan is absolutely freaking. They get the needle into his vein and he just goes insane. He is screaming and struggling so hard that between the nurse and I, he's still moving his arm around. They get one vial of blood and try to get the other but his vein has moved - or he moved so they keep trying but the vein and his arm is so puffed up by this point that I can see it start to bruise. Little blood bursts through the skin because he's struggling so hard that I'm worried he's going to pass out. At this point, I feel like I'm going to vomit. There is nothing like watching your baby screaming and yelling out MOMMA and struggling so hard that his beautiful little eyes were completely red and bloodshot - even 20 minutes after this ordeal. They decide to stop trying to get more blood and instead to try to see if they got enough. They say I have to wait 10 minutes. This is while Ethan is still freaking out - just absolutely inconsolable. I try walking around the hospital pointing at anything I see on the walls, pictures, people - anything that I think may calm him down. I try loving on him and kissing him and rocking him but he is just so mad that he's not having anything. They come back after the longest 10 minutes ever and say that they need to do this again. I start crying. I just couldn't even imagine putting my baby through that again- and I told her that I'm pretty sure that I'm not emotionally capable of going thru it again. I looked at Ethan's big bloodshot eyes and i said no. We will have to come back. I get them in the car and just start sobbing. I can't stop it. I know moms are supposed to be really strong and controlled but I just don't know how that was possible for me.
Just an awful, awful experience. 
Ethan's bruise popped up on his arm right away... (this pic is of his arm about 45 min after she stuck him). I put them both down for naps and tried to regain control of my emotions. I'm going to try to go back today and get that other test done. I've gotten the results from the first two and basically it makes no sense to me so I have a call into the doc to explain it to me. From what I can tell, it looks like Ethan has an iron deficiency. I don't exactly know how all that make sense but I'll blog about it when I do. I am praying that round 2 on the blood work isn't near as bad as round 1. At least I'm prepared for it a little more - and I'll have a paci with me. In the meantime, Ethan is pretty much going to get anything he wants from what he had to go through. Consider me wrapped around his tiny finger. My sweet baby...
I know I always say it but seriously, I cannot believe Ethan is 18 mos old today. I have never experienced super-warp fast speed like I have since I've had him. He is an absolute joy in our lives and the toughest work of art I've ever had to endure. He is all-personality and ever changing. I thought J would be my strong-willed child, but oh no.... boy, was I mistaken. J is chill! Ethan is so bright and strong and funny and overall content and happy. He absolutely adores his big brother and his daddy... He learns so fast and talks all the time. He loves to be read to and could sit and read books for hours on end (and we have!).... He fits the bill for a typical Leo. He's strong and feisty and demanding. He loves to play chase but he wants to lead the way. He loves to read, but only at his speed. He wants to climb on everything he's been told not to and then stand up tall, on one foot while doing a dance and spinning around... You get my point. He is making me work. I am finishing up the book "Bringing up Boys" and I've learned a lot... and my next book probably needs to be "The Strong Willed Child." I could not possibly imagine loving him more than I do but yet I wake up and can't wait to go see his smiling face and I realize I love him more than the previous day. He is absolutely perfect, just the way he is. I am learning more as a mom than I ever could have learned in a corporate job. And having the MOST fun! I love and adore you Ethan Chase!
Cuz Jackson thinks everyone should be. He played with this for quite some time... :) It's amazing how you can use what resources you have to "build" things. I was surprised when Jackson presented this idea to me...The creative mind of a 3 year old is pretty awesome. 
The other day we decided to have a nutritious lunch of Nutela, aka "chocolate," sandwiches and I decided to let the boys eat at the table, and it was amazing! They both sat there so cute and sweet and really enjoyed each other's company. I had to take pictures because they were so darn cute! As a sidenote: Ethan ate his half of the sandwich (he hadn't eaten more than that before) and THEN he ate Jackson's half. Then, he had oranges. Jackson - he ate half his sandwich and told me "It's ok Mommy - Ethan can have mine. My tummy is full." These boys are so different! :)
I will share one story that I'd prefer to forget, but I figure it's good for a story when they get older... Jackson had been instructed to not touch the coaster at all. After so many fights on it, we just had a talk about how Jackson has many toys that Ethan dosen't get to play with (His puzzles, his tag-reader, his markers, his memory game, his power wheels truck, etc). So J was ok w/ that. So on Thursday morning, I ran upstairs to grab Jackson some clothes to put on. In a matter of 45 seconds, I get to the bottom of the stairs and glance around the corner to see my little baby on his new Thomas ride-on (not at all meant for the roller coaster) with both legs on one side (think: side saddle) and his big brother giving him a big push from behind.... He starts flying down the coaster with complete fear in his eyes, cuz he knows.... he knows that he's going to fall... and just like slow motion, i throw everything down in my hands and RUN to him but I'm not fast enough - before he gets to the bottom, he falls.. head first.. onto the hard wood floor. My heart stopped completely and I felt this huge hole in my stomach... He doesn't scream at first but when he finally did, he REALLY screamed... Thank God, he didn't have too bad of a welp or I would've worried about a concussion or something... but I think it looked worse than it was.... Maybe by summer, they can play nicely on it again. :)
